MY ONLY ONE

My only one pet that I had mentioned in my blog before - Jacy. 

She just passed away on sunday midnight or morning .

i was busying about my college event. on the sunday night , when i was heading to college. 

i received a phone call from my sister.

after i picked up the call , my sister said : Jie , jacy had passed away.

i was so shocked , i shout and ask her to repeat one more time , i wish what i heard was wrong.

but it is not.

i am so regret , so remorse that i did not go back home for almost one month .

i din't get to see her last face , i din't get to touch her for so damn long.

i felt so sorry to her.

really really sorry.

i don't know how to describe the feeling . i know i am not a responsible owner for her.

everytime i saw a photo said that we human got many friends but the dog only got us.

the moment i heard about this news , i can't say the word , " passed away ". 

i had think before that one day , she will leave me , but i don't know is this early.

she meant so much for me. She always is the first one to let me experience with new thing.

like know how to differentiate gender or anything else.

i think inside my heart i still can't accept this fact , i still don't really believe it.

because of this , i am afraid of going back home , going back to KK.

i dont't know should i announce about this to my friends or not.

i can't speak it out from my mouth that she leave us.

i kept on thinking will she come back or come setapak to find me , are she staying beside me right now and looking at me ?

i am the only one she din't see for so long.

or she forget about me ?

: when i am free i think a lot.